Friday, August 6, 2010

Lookin' Like a Fool With a Balloon Up Your Nose

I am Locutus of Borg. (The people around here didn't get it. I also considered calling it a 3D tat.)

Well, anyway, it was better than a ferret.

I've already said the balloon didn't hurt. It did itch, though. A lot. I sneezed more in a few days than I normally do in a week, perhaps more than I normally do in a month. And I kept thinking I might sneeze the thing out, or at least dislodge it and restart the bleeding, so I made a point of sneezing with my mouth wide open just to let the force go out that way instead.

It wasn't fun.

It also interfered with my sleep, so I was even goofier than usual. I couldn't wear sunglasses at all comfortably, either, because they pressed down on the wrong part of my nose. This is usually a sunny place this time of year, but we had some clouds that let me go without glasses much of the time.

And then there were the special effects. Oozing was a bit scary, though it was mostly serum after the first day or so, and I could feel fluid movement around the balloon, which I pumped up as much as I dared. (This wasn't much, since pumping always pushed something unpleasant out the back of my nose and down my throat.)

When the time came (Tuesday, Aug. 3) to have the thing removed, I had a terrible suspicion that the bleeding would start all over again. It didn't help that when I got there, the blood-pressure monitor gave a higher reading than when I showed up Friday evening. Mechanical error, I think: it took three tries to get a reading it liked, all in close succession, which is bound to produce some observer effects: compressing the flesh and blood vessels a couple times before taking the official reading (to say nothing of the patient stress produced) probably throws off the result. (Later readings were much lower.)

Be that as it may, I got a surprise: the balloon does hurt coming out, and the doctor I had this time didn't mention that. Probably a good thing, too: I didn't worry in advance. It wasn't scream-out-loud painful, but it definitely brought tears to my eyes. The nostril just vacated also felt raw and hollowed-out, which wasn't a surprise.

And now? No bleeding, and I'm shooting a saline solution up my nose a few times a day as a doctor-prescribed hobby. Could have been worse.

For my next amazing feat, I'll probably try a review or so, since I'm way behind. I'll get back to Dark World next week, God willing.

1 comment:

cafaristeir said...

I'm glad you seem to be out of all this.
I don't know if you are "locutus of Borg", but I'm sure, that, in Latin, you are "locutor multarum auxilinguarum" !

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