Sunday, October 21, 2007

Stopping a Goliath, part one

Murray the Alchemist: In the book Flashpoint, Goliaths are big scrapheaps that make life hard for the good guys. Kind of like Shecky the Paladin. So as a gesture of... Oh, sorry--wrong gesture. Anyway, some of Ansric's characters are showing this dweeb how to handle Goliaths without even a sling and stones!

Calamity Kid: How'd you like some nap time, Murray?

Titan: It won't make any difference. He talks in his sleep.

MtA: And you're both talking over my intro! We sent the One State an invitation to the First Annual Fundies vs Goliaths Games, and here they come. You gotta like an enemy who drops everything and sends you free toys whenever you want. I'll send them a thank-you letter bomb later.

CK: Are you nuts?

Titan: If you don't know by now, that gum's rotted your brain.

CK: The Neros'll be all over us!

Tachyon: No problem. Darklight's not only jamming the Goliaths, he's telling their base what they want to hear. When we're done, the guys can even listen to an inspirational talk on getting to know God. Your Hacks worked it up for us. You know e-girl, don't you? She's nice.

CK: You are nuts. She's my sister.

Tachyon: So it doesn't run in the family? Being nice, understanding computers? Hacks do a lot of the important stuff in Flashpoint.

Titan: Stop him before he starts singing the Hack Anthem! So Allen's got a girfriend! What did you say, "Hey, nice avatar"?

Tachyon: That's "Tachyon" to you, Titank.

CK: Those Goliaths are getting close! I'll try to hold them off...

Titan: Nah, here, I'll get the first one. Whoa! Frisky guys...

MtA: Goliaths are two-legged tanks with lots of firepower. Well, lots by some people's standards. I bet I blow up more stuff by 10 a.m. than they do all day. How's it feel, Titan?

Titan: Halfway between the time you fixed the chili and that first time we met when you offered to fix the gas grill.

CK: They hit you with enough firepower to kick a tank for a field goal! How come you're still standing?

Titan: My shields route the impact through hyperspace to blast the daylights out of a nearby piece of real estate. But here's a new trick: I can set the destination closer. I'll just put my left hand on this Goliath and wait for somebody to shoot--Whoa!

CK: At least that knocked you back.

Titan: Of course--I was right next to the blast. But now watch this! Come on, turn around, you tin gorilla. TURN AROUND, STUPID! I want your good side, and it's not your front.

CK: Great. Now you're mooning me with a Goliath?

Titan: No, I'm just trying to get behind it and... Hyaah! Tadah! Huh. Okay, I guess you can't give a Goliath a wedgie. At least the insurance company can't say I didn't try.

CK: I never saw a Goliath walk that way.

Titan: Yeah. Maybe they'll ship it out to California.

CK: This is real interesting, but we don't have suits that let us walk right up to Goliath and pound it.

MtA: Okay, next time I'll show you how to stop a Goliath with a pack of gum.

CK: You're not getting my Winterfresh Extra!

MtA: Relax! I prefer cinnamon anyway.

What others say:
Fantasy Thyme
Write and Whine
Hoshi to Sakura
Wayfarer's Journal
BlogCritics Interview
Daniel I Weaver
Disturbing the Universe
Grace Bridges
Queen of Convolution
Virtual Tour de 'Net
Christian Fiction Review Blog
Yellow30 Sci-Fi: Review
Yellow30 Sci-Fi: Interview
MaryLu Tyndall
Cathi's Chatter

The Book, etc.:
Purchase Flashpoint at
Purchase signed copies of Flashpoint


cathikin said...

Ah, Murray! Ya gotta love that guy! So I wonder if you guys will teach CK anything new.

Frank Creed said...

Murray does seem all Big-Red. Let him know he was the inspiration for all the large explosions in War of Attrition: Book Two of the Underground.

CK's ready for part two.


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