The Ballad of Scabbard Pete--review

Cap'n: Are ye ready, kids?
Kids: Aye-aye, Cap'n!
Cap'n: I can't heeear you...
Kids: Get a hearing aid, you stupid geezer!
Cap'n: Close enough. Who lives in a ship barely a-top the sea?
Kids: Scab-bard Pe-tey!
Cap'n: Obnoxious, sneaky drunkard, he!
Kids: Scab-bard Pe-tey!
Cap'n: If piratish nonsense be what ye wish...
Kids: Scab-bard Pe-tey!
Cap'n: Go read his blog like a goggle-eyed fish!
[musical noise, followed by low murmuring]
Kids: Hey, Cap'n! Your check bounced, so we're off to watch a sponge.
Cap'n: What! Why, I...you... Arrgh! Callow swabs! Don't anyone appreciate good music these days?

[Unidentified voice, sobbing]: I do, Cap'n. It done touched me heart!
Cap'n: Really? And who be ye?
[Unidentified voice, sniffling]: I be Scabbard Pete. But ye may call me "Scabby Petey." 'Tis no more than I deserve.
Cap'n: Are ye sure? Ye sound too snivelly fer Pete.
"Scabby Petey": I've seen the error of me ways, and as penance, I want everyone to call me "Scabby Petey," that's all.
Cap'n [scribbling furiously]: Okay, then, will ye read out this announcement to that effect?
"Scabby Petey": Of course. "I am a demon." What! Blast!
Cap'n: A-har! As I thought: ye be Scabbard Pete's personal demon--like a personal trainer, only meaner.
Scabbard Pete's personal demon: I still want people to call him "Scabby Petey."
Cap'n: But what does we call ye, ye sulphurous swab? Why don't they give ye a name?
Scabbard Pete's personal demon: Because it's embarrassing. Who would take seriously a demon named "Evelyn"?
Cap'n: Evelyn? Ain't that a girl's name?
"Evelyn": Not "Eh-vlyn"! "Evil-in"! It's a pretty good name, really, but people think I'm a girl or a writer.
Cap'n: Well, I thinks ye be fibbin'.
"Evelyn": Hey! I'm a demon! I work for the Father of Lies! If you can't trust me, who can you trust? A politician? ...That reminds me: I need to get off to Washington.
Cap'n: Temptin' people?
"Evelyn": Collecting some debts. Not everyone's as big a challenge as Scabby.
Cap'n: Arrggh! Well, now the demon's gone, it be time for that Ansric swab ta do some blatherin' 'bout the blog.

Well, that was...interesting, for want of a better word. I don't normally review works in progress, but The Ballad of Scabbard Pete by Tony Lavoie is no normal work. It's a novel-in-progress (currently on chapter 13) posted on a blog. It's also very roughly what you might get if Keith Laumer had written Pirates of the Caribbean: fast-paced and funny. It's about a pirate who's trying to stay ahead of the demon that wants to yank him down to Hell. (That gives them both a hobby.) Unfortunately, there's not much more I can say about it without committing a spoiler.

However, I will mention a few points that may bother some people, and my own reactions.

Violence. This is another of those "If you want it, you got it; if you don't want it, you got it anyway" situations. Actually, there isn't much violence, and most of it is cartoonish. The only halfway gory scene I've encountered so far involves using archery on a sea monster. Not a lot of detail there, however, so it's mostly gross if you dwell on it and have a vivid imagination.

Language. Yes, it has language. And here you thought it was entirely in mime! Expletives are pretty much limited to an occasional "damn" or "Hell" (many of the latter being at least partly literal references). Pretty tame by pirate standards or even modern standards.

Moral relativism. Some of Pete's piracy is more or less justified by his using some of the money for good ends and by his decision to target the rich. But that's like arguing that the end justifies the means; it's essentially the same as vigilantism: it's okay to rob or kill someone if he "deserved" it. But who are we to judge, and by what authority do we act?

Theology. This is kind of jokey anyway, so I won't go into the whole business of demons and Hell as portrayed in the story. However, there is some material about the dead getting involved with what the living are doing. It's fairly limited so far, but it does bother me somewhat. We'll see where it goes.

Anyway, it's worth a look, and it's free. I've seen a number of stories lately that were neither, so get over to The Ballad of Scabbard Pete before some publisher stumbles onto it and converts it to pirate gold.

The Manasseh Factor

Yesterday I said I would try to justify invoking the apocalypse concerning Obama's presidency. As it happens, he has given me a case in point.

You see, while some people are sure that Obama is the Antichrist, that's a bit of a reach for me. I will agree that the sort of person who fell for his publicity and charisma would probably think the Antichrist was a wonderful person too. Such people have flunked a major test. They should try to improve with God's help.

But it's actually abortion that is the critical issue in my opinion. Let's look at one of the greatest revivals you could ask for, as recorded in 2 Kings 23. And let's start with verses 24-25:

24 Furthermore, Josiah got rid of the mediums and spiritists, the household gods, the idols and all the other detestable things seen in Judah and Jerusalem. This he did to fulfill the requirements of the law written in the book that Hilkiah the priest had discovered in the temple of the LORD.
25 Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the LORD as he did-- with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses. (NIV)

Now, given the modern emphasis on God's grace, the result is obvious: Josiah turned to God, so everything will be all right. Right?

Wrong. Enter verse 26:

26 Nevertheless, the LORD did not turn away from the heat of his fierce anger, which burned against Judah because of all that Manasseh had done to provoke him to anger.

Okay, wait--what's this about Manasseh? Well, he was heavily into idolatry and magic, but he had other bad habits too. Let's back up to 2 Kings 21:

6 He sacrificed his own son in the fire, practiced sorcery and divination, and consulted mediums and spiritists. He did much evil in the eyes of the LORD, provoking him to anger.

Child sacrifice was a big deal then. They waited until the kid was born, but it was chucking a kid into the dumpster for personal gain, kind of like having an abortion to avoid having a kid to bother with.

But wait, there's more:

16 Moreover, Manasseh also shed so much innocent blood that he filled Jerusalem from end to end-- besides the sin that he had caused Judah to commit, so that they did evil in the eyes of the LORD.

As a nation, we've been wallowing in the innocent blood of aborted children for more than thirty-five years now. We have elected the most pro-abortion president in our history. If he continues to act in favor of killing innocent people, will we not pass Manasseh's line? This is why I called him an "apocalyptically bad" choice. Left to himself, he is very likely to fill America with even more innocent blood than has already been shed, and at some point we will find we have gone too far.

What can we do? Well, we can humble ourselves and pray that God will give the president a revelation concerning how evil some of his pet policies are. God is our only hope and prayer our only weapon.

President Obama: a Christian Response

I said before the election--well before it--that I believed Obama would be an "apocalyptically bad" choice for president. He's now president anyway. But I'd like to explain my use of the word "apocalyptically" and explain how to respond to the current situation.

Actions have consequences, and in my next post I'll go into why I think the current president could lead to the destruction of the country. For now, I'll sketch the current situation for those who may not have been paying attention.

While the president does have a number of frankly disturbing traits--especially his tendency to stifle dissenting views--I admit that his stance on abortion particularly troubles me. He was one of the only senators who thought it should be legal for a doctor to reach into the birth canal, reposition the baby to come out head last, and then punch through the skull and brain at the last moment, killing the child. This is also known as "partial-birth abortion"; it's probably the most obviously evil form of abortion there is. It's also the least justifiable, because under virtually any imaginable circumstances, it's more invasive and dangerous to the mother than simply giving birth.

Yet the current president supports it. He also opposed keeping alive any kids who might survive an abortion.

On the other hand, he is the president, and as Christians we are to subordinate ourselves to the ruling authorities.

So what do we do?

To begin with, we need to repent. It doesn't bother me quite so much when the unsaved do something stupid; they're rebelling against the omnipotent, omniscient, and loving God, so they can't be that bright anyway. But when we act the same way, that's frightening. I confess that I did not deal with the election properly from a spiritual standpoint; in general, I think we did too little too late. And if you voted for killing the unborn, well, you have some repenting to do as well.

Then we should pray for the president. As we read in Proverbs 21:1, "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases." God can cause him to act better than he is, and that is likely our only hope.

I also think it is reasonable and righteous to ask God to send the curse of Babel on his enemies: whenever there is an attempt to enact some wicked law or policy, may God bring confusion and division upon his enemies. This does not involve sedition on our part, and certainly no violence or even threats. Leave it in God's hands. But asking for him to bring strife upon the ungodly has a very long biblical pedigree.

Next up, my justification for invoking the apocalypse.

The Book of Names: A Genuine Site Review

I thought I'd close out the CSFF blog tour of D. Barkley Briggs’s The Book of Names with a look at the "Hidden Lands" site. (No, the publisher still hasn't sent me a book. I think I've been erased from their Book of Names.)

Anyway, the site is very graphics oriented, but there's also a lot of information. If I'd had more time to assemble my Genuine Fake Review, the site would've improved it significantly. If there's a negative here, it's that it takes quite a while to work through all the pages, so it can be rather intimidating. It might have been better to have an introductory tour to give an overview of the book, the land, and so forth. The reader could then click the other sections for more detailed information.

Just a thought.

One of the main surprises I encountered was right on the main page: The "D" in "D. Barkley Briggs" stands for "Dean." I somehow assumed it would be "Dilbert" or "Diplodicus" or something else you wouldn't want in the author slot of a book. But "Dean"? One of the major characters in League of Superheroes (he becomes more important as the series progresses) is named Dean. But I suppose the initial initial (intentional, not dittography--thanks for noticing) is more impressive.

But I digress, regress, or even transgress once again. It's well past my bedtime--busy days, lately--so I'm free-associating even more than usual, which frightens even me. In closing this very short post, I'll just say that if you want to look into this series, the Web site is the place to go. Also, bear in mind that even the reviewers who clearly wanted to give a negative review on Amazon had to admit that The Book of Names was irresistibly readable. That impressed me more than the gushy reviews.

Check the rest of the CSFF bloggers:
Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Keanan Brand
Rachel Briard
Valerie Comer
Frank Creed
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Shane Deal
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Andrea Graham
Todd Michael Greene
Timothy Hicks
Joleen Howell
Jason Isbell
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Carol Keen
Magma
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Eve Nielsen
Nissa
Steve Rice
Crista Richey
Alice M. Roelke
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Rachel Starr Thomson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Jason Waguespac
Phyllis Wheeler
Timothy Wise

The Book of Names 2: A Genuine Fake Review, continued

Someone should feel honored: it's day two of the CSFF blog tour of D. Barkley Briggs’s The Book of Names, and I'm doing a two-part Genuine Fake Review.

When we left our heroes, they had just ventured through the runed arch into the lost world of Karac Tor, also known as The Hidden Lands, where they encounter a monk-filled abbey and some further plot points. Specifically, we finally find out what the whole "Book of Names" business is about. Baby names? No. Epithets for enemies? Negative. This is a list of all the people who have been or will be born in Karac Tor. The problem is that the mother-in-law of all identity theft is occurring, and names are vanishing left and right. No, this isn't a Bizarro World version of ACORN; it's the work of Nemesia, so named because not everyone knows that "Nemesis" is already feminine. She's a witch who can turn teens into zombies even without modern electronics.

Now, there is actually a basis for all this. In many cultures (including the Biblical ones), a name is thought to sum up a person's identity. There are various places in the Bible where "the Name [of the Lord]" is another term for God. In modern Judaism, "HaShem" ("The Name") is another name for God. And a lot of teens feel lost and without an identity of their own, which is why they tend to flock together like so many sheep. Good luck with that. Back to High Fantasy...

Anyway, the solution to all this is for Hadyn and Ewan to become Champions of Karac Tor and give Nemesia a noogie. But first, they're going to go talk to the local government. Kids these days! An adult would know that you should never say, "You're from the government, and we want you to help us." But then, an adult would also realize that you can't get out of a magical land without completing your quest. As Professor Kirk would say, "What are they teaching in schools these days?"

But soon the boys discover that they can't flout genre conventions. Thus, in accordance with Union Rules, they pick up a collection of odd companions and random encounters, such as Flogg the gnome. As a slogan it's not nice, perhaps, but it's still a quick source of cruel laughs: Flog that gnome! Flogg is bitter because he didn't get the job as travel site mascot, and he refuses to return to the lawn in disgrace. Then there's Sorge the warrior monk. "Sorge" is German for "care, concern," so we can see why he's a gray monk. He dispenses wisdom in the form of riddles and aphorisms, rather like Obi Wan channeling a fortune cookie or Yoda with normal syntax. He never quite masters the true lethal power of boredom, though.

Will the brothers save The Hidden Lands? Will they hide them better so the bad guys can't find them so easily the next time? Oh, probably--just not in a single book; this is a series, you know. But you'll have to read the book to know for sure.

For Genuine Genuine Reviews, check the links below:
Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Keanan Brand
Rachel Briard
Valerie Comer
Frank Creed
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Shane Deal
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Andrea Graham
Todd Michael Greene
Timothy Hicks
Joleen Howell
Jason Isbell
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Carol Keen
Magma
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Eve Nielsen
Nissa
Steve Rice
Crista Richey
Alice M. Roelke
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Rachel Starr Thomson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Jason Waguespac
Phyllis Wheeler
Timothy Wise

The Book of Names: A Genuine Fake Review

Well, here I am at the start of the CSFF blog tour of D. Barkley Briggs’s The Book of Names, and the publisher hasn't sent me a book yet. That can only mean another Genuine Fake Review!

(For what it's worth, should I ever get a copy of the book, I'll backdate a review, along with the tour links. But unfortunately Blogger's publish control only simulates time travel, so we're both stuck with a GFR.)

Just to be different, I thought I'd step you through the process of creating a Genuine Fake Review. You don't actually need a post-graduate degree in English to fake a review; it's just one of the many skills you pick up in self-defense along the way.

To begin with, you need to wade through some reviews. Not only will this give you the basic plot and characters, it will generally provide some cheap laughs you can work into the GFR. So let's have a look at the Amazon reviews page.

Right off we have our characters and even our initial gag:

"Hadyn, Ewan, Gabe, and Garrett Barlow are brothers, ages fifteen, thirteen, nine, and nine, respectively. Their lives were just turned upside-down, twice."

Normally that would be fatal to a book, because if their lives have been turned upside-down twice, they're rightside-up again. But we shall posit that they encountered a plot twist along the way, so their lives are indeed rightside-up again, but also inside out. ("Lives," not "bodies," please note: let's not get gross.) In other words, they suddenly are wearing their undies on the outside. While this spoils a certain amount of tension concerning the burning question of boxers vs. briefs, it produces a lot of tension in other ways.

Cutting to the chase: the four brothers are stuck on a farm with a briar patch. Dear old Dad takes a break from his ground-breaking work in Crazy History to tell them to clear out the briar patch. This will help them process their grief over their mother's recent demise. Of course, they can't deal with it directly, so in true Freudian fashion they have to hack a maze into the briars.

How symbolic.

Anyway, "the older Barlow brothers discover a relic inside the t[h]icket." Just what they needed: some geezer was holed up on their property. Probably Br'er Rabbit: "I was born in dis briar patch!"

But no such luck: it is in fact a runed arch. It would've been a "ruined" arch, but the "i" wore away over the years.

Worse yet, "four large, crow-like birds fly overhead, dropping a cryptic message, copied fourfold." As a rule, when birds flying overhead drop a message, there's nothing cryptic about it. "Messy," yes; "disgusting," certainly. But "cryptic"?

But there are runes everywhere, and even the birds' calling cards have them. (What have they been eating?) Loosely translated, the runes say, "Use the arch, dummies; otherwise the story will just kind of hang there."

So Ewan and Hadyn venture through the arch and find themselves in the strange world of Karac Tor. Most reviewers agree that there's some serious worldbuilding going on here, which is known in writers' jargon as "Karac Tor Development." Yes, it's a blend of Celtic and Scandinavian material, updated for alternative history buffs. Where's Crazy Dad when you need him?

Tune in tomorrow for more genuine fakery! Meanwhile,

check out the blogs of these snobs who probably got actual books:
Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Keanan Brand
Rachel Briard
Valerie Comer
Frank Creed
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Shane Deal
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Andrea Graham
Todd Michael Greene
Timothy Hicks
Joleen Howell
Jason Isbell
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Carol Keen
Magma
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Eve Nielsen
Nissa
Steve Rice
Crista Richey
Alice M. Roelke
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Rachel Starr Thomson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Jason Waguespac
Phyllis Wheeler
Timothy Wise

Seabird

This should be fun: instead of my usual three-part review, I'll try to cram it all into one. Today's book is Seabird, by Sherry Thompson.

Since the synopsis has been done to death, I think I'll just mention that there's a world called Narenta that keeps getting into trouble that requires outside (=terrestrial) assistance. The current problem is that a trio of homicidal wizards is on the loose, threatening the place with war and other re-runs.

The solution is Cara, a teenager who would rather get back home, even if it isn't Kansas. Her problems begin when she gets an objet d'art shaped like a seabird. She doesn't even notice the MADE IN NARENTA tag. If she had, she would've thought it was someplace in China. But faster than you can say "floccinaucinihilipilification" backwards in Pig Latin, she finds herself on a strongly bird-themed alien world. She tries to un-volunteer herself from her Great Mission, thereby proving that she doesn't follow Spider-Man comics, where the primary moral is that if you don't beat up the robber, your saintly uncle will die, giving you a complex for the rest of your natural-born days.

So rather than help out the relatively nice people who try to befriend her, she decides to pick whatever's behind Door #2, hoping it will send her home out of the goodness of its heart or similar organ. As a result, Bad Things Happen, The Innocent Suffer, and Reviewers Begin Capitalizing Gratuitously.

I Hate When That Happens.

Will Cara straighten out and do the right thing? That would be telling!

Some points worth noting:

Awe. The emphasis on the awe experienced in God's presence is a good thing in this age where God Is My Buddy. We have lost the proper sense of awe, so reminders are welcome.

Consequences. As mentioned above, blowing off your call can get others hurt. Rebellion and other sins hurt and kill innocent people.

Violence. Quite a lot of it. The Narenta stories are set in times of war, so people tend to die, and sometimes it isn't pretty. It's not generally gory, either, and, given the setting, not particularly gratuitous either.

Magic. Some people automatically reject the idea that godly characters could use magic. But it depends on what magic is in the story. In the real world, magic uses demonic power to try to circumvent God's law. But in stories, magic may be a secondary form of natural law (as in the Chronicles of Narnia) or even an alternative form of technology. In Seabird, magic appears to be a spiritual phenomenon with essentially the predictability of physical law. That's a bit of an odd combination, and some may find it reminiscent of the modern search for formulas in the Christian life, beginning with the Sinner's Prayer (curiously, promoted even by those who despise other written prayers) and continuing through methods to achieve prosperity, get prayers answered, and otherwise manipulate God. So the complications here should be discussed by parents with teenage readers.

Slowness. Seabird is rather slow initially, though it picks up once the bad guys show up.

Check out these other member blogs this week for more info.

Eretzel 3: Gripes and conclusion

And now the dreaded gripes about William McGrath's Eretzel.

Moor and Simon. As I mentioned yesterday, I would've liked to see more of this odd couple, though McGrath needed to spend time developing the Anakim instead. It's a good trade-off, I suppose, but I still hope for more of the Moor/Simon show next time. On the other hand, we will have more of the Anakim next time, and they do grow on you, so to speak.

Details, details... I've mentioned the exposition, and again, it doesn't bother me on the whole. It works best when it's short, as when a remark about architecture or local custom arises in passing. But some of the longer passages could have been abbreviated. For example, I think I could've handled the digression about steel in roughly half or even a third the space. I would've lost some detail in the process, but the main points would've remained. And if I weren't a geek myself, I would prune even more.

There's an outtake from Disney's Snow White where the dwarves build Snow White a bed. It's a good scene, showcasing their craftsmanship, but it never went beyond the basic animation stage. Why? Disney said that he wouldn't keep anything unless it advanced characterization or plot. The scene contributed to the dwarves' characterization, but it more or less duplicated some other scenes in that regard. Now, that one scene wouldn't have made much difference either good or bad, but once one such scene is allowed, others will follow.

This isn't to say all exposition is bad. There are two types at least that are good, even mandatory. First, there's the kind that explains a scene. (This is related to advancing the plot.) A number of the passages in Eretzel come under this heading: unless you understand the political and social dynamics of Eretzel, a lot of the scenes won't make any sense. The second is to establish that the author knows what he's talking about. Thus there's a scene where the interpretation of the Koran comes up, and it goes a little longer than some may like. But it's necessary to show that McGrath does in fact understand the issues involved. Otherwise he'd be just another ignorant pontificator. And it may also help the reader understand the topic in greater depth.

A few non-issues that are sure to arise...

Violence. You want it, you got it. Even if you don't want it, you got it anyway. I don't object to violence as such, just to gore and gratuitous mayhem. The violence here is neither gory nor gratuitous, so it's not a problem for me at least. Your mileage may vary.

Theology. Some of the ideas presented are non-standard, though they will seem so mostly to someone with a very provincial viewpoint. Do I agree with all of the points made? No. But I think a reader can learn from them, and since Evangelicals in particular tend toward intellectual inbreeding anyway, some new blood could be a good thing, especially if it leads to actual thinking.

Preachiness. I've observed before that calling someone preachy often really means, "Hey, how come he's got a spine and I don't?" Are there preachy bits? Yes. But the question here, as for violence, is, "Are there gratuitous preachy bits?" The answer, on the whole, is no. In a way, it's the Antichrist who comes off sounding preachy, which is just fine. The Dante-esque tour of the Afterlife has more-or-less preachy moments, but they are reasonable: the nature of the scene demands it and would feel strangely empty without it.

Conclusion. Eretzel is an improvement on Asulon, and the next installment will likely be even better. It's the kind of book I know I'll refer back to in years to come, not the sort I'd read a maximum of once and chuck. So buy Eretzel and read it. It will probably do you good to try something different.

Eretzel 2: Good points

William McGrath's Eretzel has several positives, but I'll start with one of the lesser ones:

Action. Lots of it. Most of it involves fighting, but there's a certain amount of running for one's life as well. This isn't extremely important for me, but it should be a consolation to many others, because the truly important feature of Eretzel is

Intelligence. Lots of that, too. And yes, that does mean some exposition. Now, if you're a geek, it's interesting exposition. But I think it's fairly interesting even if you aren't, and it's fairly brief as well. I reflexively distrust anything that's all action all the time, as a review later this week will mention. So given the action level, a little expository breather now and then is useful. Mens sana in corpore sano and all that: we need balance. Nor is the exposition purely geek material. Some involves the art of war, relationship issues, and theology.

Mythopoeia. Go ahead; work that word into your next conversation. In a way I'm cheating with this point, since it is closely related to the previous one, but myth-creation is culturally important, and we've been outsourcing to dubious sources lately.

It wouldn't be quite accurate to compare Eretzel (or Asulon for that matter) to Lord of the Rings; Tolkien did synthesize elements from British, Nordic, Greek and Roman culture and mythology from a Christian perspective, but he did so on a rather limited canvas--Middle Earth was a dinky place, really. And he regarded the Story as the end rather than as the means. Lewis, meanwhile, was less coherent in his adaptation of mythology--and Tolkien consequently despised the Chronicles of Narnia--but he knew that the STORY behind the Story, like the Christ behind the Christian, was the big deal. (The Narnia stories also had a far broader canvas, including England in two rather different periods, Calormen, and the islands. It even included different periods for Narnia proper beyond anything in LotR.) That's why, LotR's magisterial qualities aside, Tolkien was being a twit in putting down Chronicles of Narnia. In Eternity, we will find Lewis' work far more highly regarded than Tolkien's.

All of which is to say that McGrath's work is more like Lewis' than like Tolkien's. (Actually, it's somewhat like Fénelon's Adventures of Telemachus, but who reads that these days? Read it in French, if you aren't a wimp!) It may also be usefully compared to Rowling's Harry Potter series. One of the things that bothered me about the Potter books was their emptiness, their shallowness. They remind me of an old cathedral that still has much beautiful art, but has stood empty and dead for generations. She uses Christian symbols, but she seems to have no clue what they mean at a deep level. In fact, she reminds me of Mr. Sensible from Lewis' The Pilgrim's Regress: met before the pilgrim's conversion to Christianity, Mr. Sensible appears to be a mélange of philosophies and ideas, but on the Regress proper, seen from a spiritual perspective, he and his house are quite invisible. The angelic guide explains that Mr. Sensible was a mere patchwork of ideas he did not himself understand, so there was really nothing of his own to see.

McGrath, on the other hand, seems to understand his sources, especially in terms of their Christian underpinnings. So there are worshippers in this cathedral, and the art looks better as a result.

THE ANAKIM! THE ANAKIM! (That's vaguely funny if you've gone very far in the story.) Although we don't have a lot of the Moor/Simon byplay from Asulon (some, but not as much as I would've hoped--see my gripes list tomorrow), we do have the Anakim, who are literally larger than life. There are technically other characters as well, but most of them are eclipsed by the big guys. It was probably good planning on McGrath's part to keep them and the other major characters apart much of the time, because the Anakim would probably win. They are so powerful that they're the ones chosen to put the hit on the Antichrist. Why not? They'll beat up Rema itself while they're there. But there's more to them than just steroids on steroids; they're plenty smart, and they have some non-violent interactions that are quite touching. Simon says they're the essence of a true man blown up beyond the human scale, and he's not kidding.

Probably the strongest performance is Gath's. He's the eldest, and I can't help thinking he's related to Moor. (In fact, if Moor said "Shazaam!" he'd probably turn into Gath.) Unlike his brothers, Gath does not follow God. Oh, he knows God is there, but he doesn't like him for tossing Father Anak out of Heaven. Will Gath ever get his spiritual act together? Will Moor, for that matter?

Morality. Daniel's relationship with Rachel is unapologetically pure, and the idea sneaks in that a real man waits while mere wimps tumble into bed. Not everyone is so virtuous, and there are some good bad examples with realistic downsides. As a rule, if a guy pushes his girlfriend into sex, he'll tend to disappear when she gets pregnant. The points are made subtly enough that I doubt most readers will notice.

Tune in tomorrow for a list of gripes--not just mine but some I'm sure others will have, including a few I consider bogus.

Eretzel 1: Intro

What can I write about William McGrath's Eretzel that hasn't already been written? Quite a lot, actually: it's still a fairly recent release. For what follows, you may want to refer to my earlier review of Asulon, the first part of this three-part series. You can read Eretzel without Asulon, but it won't make as much sense.

Plot Daniel and friends decide to head for Eretzel, Rachel's homeland, while Nasty Work is afoot elsewhere, especially in Rema (Rome). In addition to Moor, the cynical swordsman, and Simon, the miracle-working priest, we now have the Anakim, seven of Daniel's larger-than-life uncles, and various of Rachel's kin as well. We also add some villains. Lots of them. Several will leave the story in a bag, however.

The story takes up where Asulon left off, on board ship where Daniel is now trying to patch things up following an apocalyptic lover's misunderstanding. We also encounter ample evidence that the Anakim Are Weird. Oh, and there's the preparation for Eretzel proper, which does involve a little exposition. Then we head into Hierosolyma proper, where Daniel meets his greatest fear and challenge: future in-laws.

Well, okay, there are also sword-swinging loonies and others who Don't Play Well With Others, and a false Prophet is setting Eretzel up to be invaded and generally squished like a bug. So Daniel and friends must outwit a truly humungous amount of evil.

Will they succeed? Of course not--at least not without divine assistance in the form of Simon's knowledge of God, a Dante-esque mythic experience Daniel somewhat falls into, and the legendary Sword of Fire.

Along the way we encounter adventures in Heaven and Hell, a dwarven lecture on steel-smithing, and even a subplot about a man torn between being an honorable warrior or a deserter in family life. And there are a few scenes that will probably bug your eyes out a bit, as well as a few good laughs.

Tomorrow we'll look at some of the especially good points of the story.