On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness 3: The Bad Stuff

So what's the downside of Andrew Peterson's On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness? There are a few:

1. Needless vulgarity. The story practically opens with someone doing a face-plant in manure. That's a sign of things to come, though it isn't as constant as I feared. But the Fangs have disgusting taste in just about everything, and we do get to read about it all. Do we really need to?

Someone's bound to call me hypocritical based on my short story "At the Mountains of Lunacy" in the anthology Light at the Edge of Darkness, because it does feature a vulgar running gag. However, the gag is integral to the story: I can't imagine how to set up the situation otherwise, and it only occurs on-camera (so to speak) once, and even then in a non-graphic way. (I'll also admit that it's at the edge for me.) Here, the gross stuff adds to the atmosphere and characterization, but it's not truly necessary.

2. Disobedience. The kids apparently respect their mom and grandpa, but the boys in particular tend to disobey them in sneaky ways. They come close to getting eaten a time or so, but overall the results seem to justify the actions.

3. Bullying. If I had been reading this on my own, I probably would have quit about halfway through. Why? Because Podo, a generally likeable rascal, turns bully and begins abusing someone he must certainly know will not fight back. Your mileage may vary, but for me that's well over the line. It's true he has an irrational dislike for the character in question, but that doesn't even come close to justifying his own actions. (In fact, eventual revelations made his victim seem far superior to him.) I found myself hoping that Podo would expire, which should give you some idea how odious I found his behavior.

Theology. Those who are familiar with my reviews are probably wondering about the theological points. There aren't many. The Good Guys acknowledge and revere the Creator, and they do pray. There isn't a lot happening here theologically, but such as occurs is good. (In a story of this sort I think we can allow a low bar, especially for the first in a series.) Perhaps later installments will improve on that--I admit the theology of multiple sentient species is tricky, and I do wonder about the nature of the Fangs: are they more or less demons--the designated damned? Or can they be saved? And what is salvation here anyway? (The humans evidently derive in some way from Adam, so they do need a savior.)

But I can wait for more information. What is said is accurate, even if there isn't much of it.

So where am I on the story? I would suggest that a parent get the book and read it first. If that doesn't raise any problems, the next step is reading it to the kid(s). (Quit whining, you big baby! It's good for both you and the munchkins.) I will say that I'd be willing to read the next installment.

Other links on the tour:
Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Jackie Castle
Valerie Comer
CSFF Blog Tour
Gene Curtis
D. G. D. Davidson
Janey DeMeo
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Beth Goddard
Marcus Goodyear
Todd Green
Jill Hart
Katie Hart
Michael Heald
Timothy Hicks
Christopher Hopper
Jason Joyner
Kait
Carol Keen
Mike Lynch
Margaret
Rachel Marks
Shannon McNear
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Pamela Morrisson
John W. Otte
Deena Peterson
Rachelle
Steve Rice
Cheryl Russel
Ashley Rutherford
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Donna Swanson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Robert Treskillard
Jason Waguespac
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise

On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness 2: The Good Stuff

The best feature of Andrew Peterson's On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness is probably its emphasis on family unity. The Igibies stick together, and it isn't just out of tackiness. It would be nice if they had a bit more respect for each other, but on the whole it's like the Waltons or Little House on the Prairie, only with giant, homicidal, reptilian humanoids. Despite her walking handicap, Leeli is prone to wander off, and she generally does it much faster than her brothers can handle despite their superior running speed. But they always go looking for her and try to protect her against whatever she's encountered.

The humor is the second-best feature. (I know you thought I'd say it was best; consider this an early April Fool.) Humor of this sort is tricky, and some gags work better than others. The footnotes are a bit overdone, for example, but the book references generally succeed, especially those involving Oskar Reteep, my favorite character. One of the best examples occurs when Janner and Tink are helping Oskar sort some new books. They read off the title and author, and Oskar tells them where to file the book:

"The Sound of Sidgebaw, by...Riva Twotoe," Tink read.
"Ah, a fine work. Very rare. File under SITTING UTENSILS, there in the corner, see?" Oskar said.
"I Came and I Wept Like the Sissy I Am, by Lothar Sweeb," Janner said.
"Sweeb, Sweeb...yes, a mediocre talent, but very prolific. File under BACON SONGS, just behind the lampstand there."
"Bonked[,] by Phiksam Ponkbelly."
"GARDENING. Excellent book." (p. 76)

There's also some good suspense. In fact, sometimes a little too good: there's a scene (perhaps two) near the end that will probably be a bit much for younger readers, though all ends well. I'd go into more detail, but I don't want to ruin any surprises. If I do anyway, I'll join Oskar in saying, "In the words of the famed shoe burglar Hanwyt Moor, 'I'm so sorry. It won't happen again.'" (p. 140)

Tomorrow: the problems and my final recommendation for or against.

Other links that are probably more informative:
Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Jackie Castle
Valerie Comer
CSFF Blog Tour
Gene Curtis
D. G. D. Davidson
Janey DeMeo
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Beth Goddard
Marcus Goodyear
Todd Green
Jill Hart
Katie Hart
Michael Heald
Timothy Hicks
Christopher Hopper
Jason Joyner
Kait
Carol Keen
Mike Lynch
Margaret
Rachel Marks
Shannon McNear
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Pamela Morrisson
John W. Otte
Deena Peterson
Rachelle
Steve Rice
Cheryl Russel
Ashley Rutherford
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Donna Swanson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Robert Treskillard
Jason Waguespac
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise

On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness 1: Dang the Fangs! Full Speed Ahead!

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. He was probably hiding from On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson. But if you're braver than the average hobbit, you may find this humorous fantasy to your liking.

The story (even with copy and paste I'm not going to refer to it by name more than once per post) involves a world where the reptilian Fangs of Dang have invaded the much nicer continent of Skree and its hapless, witless inhabitants. The Fangs are running and ruining everything now.

Enter the Igibies. (No, not that way! What do you think this is, Fantastic Voyage? Get back to your normal size this instant!) They consist of one grandfather and former pirate, Podo; one frightened yet noble mother, Nia; and three adorable muppets, Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie. No, wait--that's moppets. Hmm. Okay, that would be Janner (the writer), Tink (the artist--no relation to Peter Pan's friend, apparently), and the token sister, Leeli, a young songstress who doubles as Mephibosheth in drag. (That more or less makes sense if you get even a few chapters in. It makes even more sense later on.) There's also the kid's presumably defunct father, apparently dispatched by the Fangs some time before the story opens. None of the Igibies (singular "Igiby") is quite normal for the area, so of course they run into trouble with the local Fangs of Dang.

Faster than you can say "xpltrnmn" (which doesn't mean anything but is really hard to say), the Fangs are chomping at the bit, evidence of the fabled land of Anniera (east of the Lost World of Roi Rama) arises, and one or more of the good guys nearly gets snuffed several times.

But what of Anniera and its mysterious "jewels" that could mean the end of the Fangs of Drang (and perhaps even of the Fats of Drat)? Anniera is like Camelot or Avalon or maybe even Rich Mullins in one of his moods. It was the first place the Fangs conquered, and the only one tough enough to make them say "Please" first. (There was also a dispute about whether the Annierans said "Simon Says" at a critical moment, but the story passes over that in silence.) The jewels vanished, but the Fangs are on the lookout for them. Guess where they turn up. (And, yes, there is a cute twist involved. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, and so on.)

Will the Igibies survive? Will the Fangs finally discover a decent dental plan? Will Smeagol ever get back with his Precious? (Okay, the last one's a yes of sorts, but that's another story.)

Tomorrow: the good points of the story. Maybe it'll even make sense.

Other links that are probably more informative:
Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Jackie Castle
Valerie Comer
CSFF Blog Tour
Gene Curtis
D. G. D. Davidson
Janey DeMeo
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Beth Goddard
Marcus Goodyear
Todd Green
Jill Hart
Katie Hart
Michael Heald
Timothy Hicks
Christopher Hopper
Jason Joyner
Kait
Carol Keen
Mike Lynch
Margaret
Rachel Marks
Shannon McNear
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Pamela Morrisson
John W. Otte
Deena Peterson
Rachelle
Steve Rice
Cheryl Russel
Ashley Rutherford
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Donna Swanson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Robert Treskillard
Jason Waguespac
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise

Original copy

In case anyone wonders, the preceding post arose from circumstance and necessity: the political season is heating up here, and I'm a freelance journalist for a local newspaper. I had to report on a candidates' forum last night, and I'd been too busy during the day to get to what I had originally promised: a review of the author's Web site. But I can do zany stuff very quickly, so I ran off a genuine fake review.

It's late again, but I'll have some factual elements this time, until it gets late enough to uncork the weird stuff.

To begin with, some parts of the copwriter.com site haven't been updated for a while--The Void itself is listed as a coming attraction (to be published in August 2007)! The best parts of the site are unaffected, however: My Testimony and Why I Write. The blog is nonexistent, and you occasionally run into a gratuitous and annoying login requirement. But then, as a cop and writer, Mynheir is presumably a busy guy.

So what can we learn of Mynheir the writer?

Well, one of the Amazon reviewers said, "Mynheir is an author worth watching." Obviously she found out the hard way how professional writers clean out your cookie jar when you aren't looking! (Or maybe donuts when he's on duty, though this seems to concentrate on the writing aspect.) Successful writers can afford cookies; less successful ones can snitch a few here and there. Wannabes and hacks have to make do with crackers. Apparently Mynheir is in either the first or second category. But has he achieved his full potential?

Myself, as I look at his Web site, copwriter.com, I am filled with sadness: just one more letter and he could've been a rich and famous copywriter, which is a technical term in the writing game for plagiarist. But we can't all have the glamor jobs. Look at me, for instance. Okay, no, you can't look at me, because I found all those little cameras long ago. (And they said I was paranoid!)

Anyway, I am a copyeditor, not a copywriter. This means that I'm a plagiarist with good grammar and spelling, not one of those illiterate slobs who makes a lot of money. Let them have their money! I have my pride.

And it tastes good on a cracker.

Participating Blog links:
The Christian Fiction Review Blog
Queen of Convolution
A Frank Review
Between Sundays
Bibliophile' s Retreat
Cathi's Chatter

Attack of the Clones!

The Void is book three of Mark Mynheir's Truth Chasers series.

Have I read the book? No. However, I have an M.A. in English, which means I can bluff having read any book ever written, at least in English. Besides, I've read reviews of the book. Have you done that or maybe even read the book? If not, read on. If so, go somewhere else, already! Nobody likes a smart guy!

Robbie Sanchez is a Florida policewoman. Fortunately, Robbie is female, which keeps things from getting too kinky too early. Unfortunately, she has no social life, in part because some of the guys she knows keel over and die. Three words, Robbie: Too much perfume! But one such victim, Brad Worthington, bequeathed her a best friend with an equally macho name: Detective Eric Casey. How many parents name their kid "Detective"? Anyway, Robbie decides to convert him to a love interest and maybe flip him if he doesn't work out.

There are two clues at the scene of the crime:

1. Footprints made by large, identical shoes
2. A nearby building with a sign reading "Friendly neighborhood evil menacing corporation."

Considering that all odd businesses are evil, Robbie and her friend Detective pay a call on the establishment, after noting a smaller sign. By screwing up their eyes, they can make out the cheery message, "P.S. Open All Hours."

Unfortunately this refers to the guard dogs' mouths. There are several curiously identical dogs, but but R and D dismiss this as an illusion: they have, after all, screwed up their eyes already. In fact, the pair are so far gone that they get into an argument about how many dogs there are. The dogs get involved, confused, and bored senseless in short order and drop off like a synchronized diving team.

The investigators then discover that the business is called Lifetex: obviously it's involved in creating Texan life! (Hillary could use some of that.) Robbie immediately senses a connection with the big shoeprints she saw earlier.

But it's worse even than that! Lifetex is in fact involved with engineering jeans for Texans, which entails dabbling in secrets Man Was Not Meant to Know. As a woman, Robbie's okay, but she has Detective put his hands over his ears and his fingers in his eyes. (They get it right on the second take, but it's still real hard to do.)

Then Robbie hears an ominous honking noise drawing nearer and nearer. Suddenly the meaning of the prints comes to her: big shoes that are identical! It must be a clown clone (or vice versa)! And since he's confused "clown" and "clone," a functionally illiterate one as well, without proper editing (see tomorrow's post)!

What happens next? I don't know. I finally realized that as a man, this was something I wasn't supposed to know either. Pardon me while I get my fingers out of my eyes.

Participating Blog links:
The Christian Fiction Review Blog
Queen of Convolution
A Frank Review
Between Sundays
Bibliophile' s Retreat
Cathi's Chatter