Sunday, September 6, 2009

Mohamed's Moon 1: Intro

This month, CFRB presents Mohamed's Moon by Keith Clemons. The book is rather like A Tale of Two Cities, except where it isn't. (Don't expect spoilers here.)

Our story opens with a snookered schnook seeking entrance into Paradise the fast and anti-social way. Little does he know, well, much anything, really, being general-purpose ignorant, the kind of Renaissance Dolt extremely helpful to terrorists and other ne'er-do-wells.

But the important bit of ignorance has to do with his evil brother's designs on his wife. Currently Sayyid, the brother, just has her penciled in, but he means to go over it in ink and a steamroller. Take care of her for his about-to-be-late brother? Why, soit'n'y, as the Prophet said.

But wait! There's more! Incidentally, the widow/bride happens to be a Christian, which is Extremely Rude in that culture. She also doesn't like her prospective husband, and not just because of his looks. (He disproves the "you are what you eat" notion by eating kosher, so to speak, yet still looking like a two-ton porker in a turban.)

No, the problem is that he would be a bad influence on her curiously unnamed son, who isn't a Christian as yet. He does have a girlfriend of sorts, Layla, who is a Christian. Remember that. Anyway, Layla's about to flee with her family, and the widow and her son are about to follow suit.

Don't answer yet! Call now, and you'll get two... Twelve years later, Mohamed El Taher literally runs into his doppelganger, Matthew Mulberry, who inexplicably is not a Marvel superhero despite his name. Matthew is attempting to get engaged to a girl named Layla, who insists that she knew him before, back in Egypt. He denies it, she gets psychotic, and the stage is set for a charming apprentice terrorist to usher in a menagerie à trois as well as an apocalypse.

Yup, it's twins, all right, and it doesn't take much imagination to figure out which is the evil one. They're both time bombs, one medical and the other the old-fashioned kind, and we get to wonder who'll blow up first. Will Matthew survive? (That's the main question for him; he's kind of an underachiever.) Will Mohamed realize that Terrorism Isn't Nice? Will he get saved? Is he fated to expose his backside so the title will make sense? Will Layla drive one or both of them completely insane with her shrewish psychoses?

Tune in tomorrow for the good points of Mohamed's Moon.

Purchase Mohamed's Moon at Barnes and Noble or Amazon.

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cathikin said...

Your comments continue to amaze and amuse me. Love that kosher porker bit.

David said...

I'm also contently amazed by your sharp wit and unusual humor. You say in a few short words what some of us would take many pages saying. Thank you.

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